For many years following my diagnosis, I was in research and intervention overdrive. I would spend hours trawling the internet for diets, supplements and therapies that might reverse my condition or swing the odds in my favour. The trouble was I already had a full time job and then some. I would burn out on a regular basis just with the effort of trying to keep up with the exercise regimes, the different fruit and veg I should or shouldn’t be eating, tablets three times daily, meditation, self massage, hypnosis and more.
Last year I stopped it all. It was like starting again with a blank slate. I ate what I felt like when I felt like it. I didn’t bother doing anything except what I most felt like doing that day. And funnily enough my body was pretty good at telling me when I was hungry, when I was tired, and when I was feeling more energetic.
Now I want to do something more with this blank slate, to mould it and improve it. My ultimate dream is to heal and be a mother. But an obsessive focus on that dream is what led me down the path of exhaustion. Instead I’m going to choose one change at a time and commit to it fully. Better to change one thing and do it well than to try to do everything and collapse under the strain.
The one thing that I have chosen is yoga. I can do it for free at home. I can do it gently on my less energetic days (sometimes all I do is sit and breath!) or more energetically on my better days. I can meditate whilst doing it, thus killing two birds with one stone.
I have a chart and I can colour in one cell for every day that I carry out my yoga practise. I need this because when I have previously “committed” to yoga it has been sparse and short lived. It is so satisfying to see the colours grow, and I am motivated even on my least enthusiastic days because I don’t want a white, empty cell in the middle of my chart. A nice idea that I’ve read about is to use a picture in an adult colouring book as your chart, so you get to colour another section each time you do whatever it is you have committed to. How lovely to watch the picture grow.
I am five days in and already I can do a pose that on day one I was too stiff to get into, and I can hold each of the poses for longer. I meditate on my chakras as I do it, and my concentration grows daily.
What one thing small action could you commit to each day, that might just swing the odds slightly more in your favour? Forget everything else and focus on this one thing. Give yourself a time limit…or an adult colouring picture limit…and see what changes for you.